Hiei, The Ramen Delivery Man!
by ladyasile
Summary: Rated M for language and other things... Find out how Hiei became a ramen delivery man after doing something that he should never do.


**Hiei, The Ramen Delivery Man!**

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A/N: Some of you may have read some of my random stories, so you know they're weird. This is by far the strangest-- MY SONG! I LOVE THIS SONG! Oh, sorry! Okay, this is the weirdest one, and it came out of a conversation with Fickle Luck, my muse! (Thanks a bunch for this idea!) And so, I hope you enjoy it. Special thanks to my beta, Brokenshardsofmyheart99! (I think I just got another idea! For a story!)

Disclaimer: Me owning YYH will confirm the end of the world, so I don't own it.

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"Can you believe this is our second anniversary this month? It's been two weeks since we've been mated!" a cheerful Kurama practically shouted.

His mate, Hiei, was momentarily stunned out by his fox's behavior. And when the moment passed, Hiei nearly fainted. 'Shit, I forgot this was our anniversary!' He saw Kurama busy himself with cooking their perfect meal to celebrate. The half-koorime knew that this was his chance to slip off and get Kurama a nice gift. He stood up from his chair, but before he could take his first step, Kurama called him.

"Hiei! Open it!" he said, pointing at the fancy-wrapped box on the table that Hiei had not noticed.

With a bit of hesitation Hiei walked to the other side of the table and opened the gift slowly. After the millions of layers of paper and ribbons, Hiei picked up his gift. His eyes nearly popped out. "S-sex toys?" he questioned with a slight stutter.

"Well, I know you enjoy our sex… This is just to make it different. Do you like them?"

"I was just surprised… Never thought you would be into this, though. I'm sure we'll enjoy them," Hiei answered with a mischievous grin.

There was a moment where neither spoke, merely stared at each other. "Well?" Kurama asked.

Hiei would have asked the same question if not for… "The food's burning."

The redhead turned his back to Hiei, and focused on getting the meal ready. Meanwhile, the fire demon made his escape.

The ruby-eyed demon looked all over, but couldn't find a suitable gift. Anything he did find was expensive. He would have stolen it, but then he would probably land in jail again. After searching frantically for an hour he decided on a gift.

Hiei walked inside their home. He found Kurama setting the table and serving their food. "Here," the raven-haired demon said to Kurama.

Kurama took the small bag his mate was holding and looked inside. Another awkward silence passed by. "Hn?" Kurama remained quiet, but Hiei could sense him getting livid.

"What the hell? A pacifier? What am I suppose to do with this?" Many more words were spoken, but the little fire demon did his best to block them. And pretty soon Kurama was in tears, both of anger and sadness.

Without warning pink smoke filled the dinning room. "Hiei, you've been summoned by Judge Kaede to Mate Court! You're charged with making your poor, sweet mate cry and be angry with you!" said the short, winged female demon dressed in a blue kimono.

"What the," Hiei began, "Fuck…?" In a flash of light both Hiei and Kurama were in court. There was a female judge, her black eyes literally piercing the half-koorime's soul.

"Hiei, why did you give your mate a pacifier?" she demanded to know.

The stunned fire demon stood quiet.

Judge Kaede turned to Kurama. "Dear fox demon, did he make you cry?" Her voice held more sympathy for Kurama than Hiei.

Kurama nodded, wiping tears away. He was hurt by the fact that Hiei had forgotten their anniversary.

"Since Mr. Hiei did not answer… He is found guilty of letting his mate down! And making the most beautiful and sexy demon cry!" In another flash of light, both demons appeared back at their home.

The winged demon in the blue kimono appeared as well. "Get ready to be punished, runt!" she said and took out a stick. "Have fun!" She waved her stick and Hiei vanished.

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Three weeks later…_

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"Coming!" Jin shouted. He flew rapidly to the front door, knocking many things down on the way, which irritated Touya. The flying demons opened the door and immediately dropped to the floor.

Touya came to the front door, upon hearing the loud thud caused by Jin. He looked to see who was standing there, and he too nearly fainted. "H-Hiei?"

"Here's your ramen! Mention this to anyone and you die!" he hissed venomously as he shoved the food onto Touya. He turned and was about to walk away, but stopped. "Have a Ramen-ific day," he muttered and flitted away.

Touya nodded. "You… too…"

Hiei came home and took off the ridiculous outfit that he had to wear while serving his punishment.

"Hiei! You're back!" And on top of everything else, he had to deal with an immensely horny Kurama. The sex toys had indeed been put to good use… By Kurama.

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End 


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